I am a Doula.

I often get asked why I became a doula, what inspired me to choose this path? I can't say it was one specific thing, but my interest first started almost 19 years ago when my niece was born. I read the books with my sister while she was pregnant, unpacked and folded baby clothes for weeks, and went through all the motions of helping her prepare for her daughter's arrival. I have always loved children, loved babies, but this was the first time I was present for this stage. 

I remember sitting in the hospital waiting room for hours while my sister labored, often getting updates from my mom who interestingly enough was my sisters "doula", though the title was unknown to her, and she simple was referred to as mom and grandma-to-be. I remember the excited, nervous energy that was present amongst my family as we all sat in solidarity waiting for news of baby's arrival. It started to get late, I had classes the next morning and snow began to heavily fall. News stations were reporting a blizzard was heading to New York City and it was decided that most of us would go home for the night. That morning, I got a call saying the baby was born at 6 am during the blizzard of '96. I will never forget the day she came home, outside blinding white with snow, and the fierce wails of a rosy pink 5 pound baby inside. I knew then that I wanted to be apart of a moment like that again. 

I eventually went on to university to study different things, work in different fields and went down many different paths. Through simple twists of fate I turned to studying holistic health and massage therapy, which eventually led me to work in Japan. It sounds so simple me saying it now, but in those next few months my life would make an incredible turn. 

The Japanese family I was staying with had a home birth, and that completely blew away any concept I had about birth. This whole new world opened up to me, and I wasn't sure at the time what I would do with it. I came back to New York to get my visa to return to Japan. I was so sure that was the direction I was supposed to go in, so sure that was where I was supposed to be. 

When those plans fell through, I suddenly found myself jobless, and purposeless. I eventually went back to massage therapy, but something was still missing. Then I remembered that Japanese homebirth, and it clicked. I decided I would go back to that first love of birth. I reenrolled into University to pursue nursing and midwifery, trying to find my niche in the birth world. As I was sharing my plans with a friend and mentor who happened to a be a nurse herself, she encouraged me to try out being a doula. 

Doula. Before that day I had never heard this word before. "A woman who serves"; that was the first concept of a doula I received when I pulled up a google search. As I began to delve into my research of doulas and who and what they were, I realized this was what I was looking for. I figured when the spring semester was over I would attend a doula training, and decide from there. I contacted organizations that were doing trainings and learned that they had 1 spot left for their training beginning in a few days. It seemed like fate, or destiny if you believe in such things. I made the decision to attend. 

Those days spent in the training sessions were, not to sound cheesy, life changing. I learned so much during that time not only about doulas and birth, but about myself. About the wonder of women, our bodies, and this wonderful journey of motherhood. By the end of the week I called the university and cancelled my enrollment. In 2010 I began my journey as a doula. Its been 4 years and almost 100 babies that I have witnessed arrive into this world. 

I have met incredible women over the years who are also traveling this crazy birth journey with me. I have a special place in my heart for my mothers, my families, my babies. Even after 4 years I can remember every birth story. And my heart always fills with joy when a mother tells me "I couldn't have done it without you". 

I haven't chosen the easiest of professions, long hours, hard work, unpredictability of planning, etc. but I have never regretted this decision. I get to witness some of the most powerful moments of a woman's life. And I have yet to see something more beautiful than a mother bringing her child into the world. Now I finally understand the path I was meant to walk. I am a doula.